Teen Dating: Helping Your Teenager Build Healthy Relationships

Dating is a subject that always comes up once a teenager reaches high school, if not sooner depending on the family.

There are a lot of ideas out there regarding when and if teenagers should be dating. Interestingly, research suggests that whether or not a teen actually dates, having the freedom to make that choice is linked to healthy adult relationship outcomes (either path is considered normal and healthy).

Allowing your teen to date while in your house comes with a whole lot of benefits. The main benefit is that you can help your teen mold their relationship skills and make sure they are dating safely!

Letting Teens Choose — and Guiding Them Along the Way

• RED flags

  • Communicating in a hurtful or threatening way

  • Mistreating

  • Love Bombing

  • Isolating partner from others

  • Controlling

  • Acting different on the phone (text) vs in person

  • Gaslighting

  • Lack of desire to label the relationship

• GREEN flags

  1. Healthy communication

  2. Respectful of parents and teen

  3. Trustworthy

  4. Honest

  5. The couple can spend time apart from each other

  6. Make choices together

One of the hardest parts parents may find if allowing teens date is the allowance to choose freely who they want to date. However, this can be beneficial as it allows room for the parents to ask questions about the partners in order to help the teens decipher exactly what they want in a partner.

The parents can help teens notice red and green flags. They can help their teen with standards lists in regards to what kind of person they ultimately want to end up with. They can help teens set boundaries as sometimes teens can fall into the obsession category quickly and will need to learn how to make sure they do not drop everything for a new relationship. The list can go on, but, ultimately, having a hand in shaping how your teen dates could be a great thing.

Dating with Purpose: Purity, Safety, and God's Design

One of the most important parts of teens dating is this: Teens should be safe in dating.

They should understand being pure and staying safe in relationships is the way God intended for relationships. While dating should not feel like a list of rules to follow, it’s important to remember that the goal of dating is marriage. God is the one who created marriage so He does get to set the rules! And He has good reasons for His rules, which means helping your teens understand the importance of following them.

Another great thing to do is surround your teens with mentors or role models with healthy relationships themselves. Teens need a role model when it comes to relationships. If possible, be that role model yourself. Show your teens what a good marriage and a good relationship look like by making your marriage one they would want for themselves!