Love, lust, and infatuation:
All words we use to describe our romantic relationships.
But what do those words really mean? Let’s dive into it!
Infatuation
This is the spark. This is the feeling you usually get when you first meet someone of interest.
All of the sudden, this person becomes the center of your world. You can’t wait to bump into this person again. You think about this person all the time, fantasizing about spending time with them.
But just as quick as those feelings ignite, they can fizzle.
You’re finally on a long-awaited date (a real date!), but just seeing your date eating a simple salad somehow turns your stomach—lettuce in the teeth, a pool of dressing splashing with each aggressive stir and stab of the salad… And suddenly that fire is gone.
Infatuation is short-lived; it is not a long lasting emotion. However, infatuation can become love—it simply takes time.
Lust
Lust is a very selfish emotion.
Lust is all about me, me, me.
Relationships founded on lust may take place for a few reasons:
Physical desire. God made humans to desire connection and intimacy with one another, but a relationship based on lust is seeking first to satisfy desires of the flesh.
Status. Perhaps a relationship with someone of a certain status, or someone who belongs to certain social groups, will elevate your own feeling of worth and belonging.
Conquest. For some, that desire comes from attaining something (or someone) unattainable. Maybe the motivation is to fix, or to save. Maybe it’s for the bragging rights.
All of these are unhealthy relationships, and despite what Hollywood says, lust relationships rarely—if ever—continue to become a healthy, long-term relationship.
Love
Love is the goal for all relationships that are desired to last.
However, love takes time. Love takes work.
Some may confuse love with the honeymoon period that all relationships go through at the beginning (also known as infatuation). The feeling of “love at first sight,” the butterflies—all prominent in the beginning of a relationship before the lasting, meaningful feelings of love develop.
Thankfully we have the Bible to guide us when we’re considering what love truly is.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is selfless. It is putting the other person’s needs before your own. It is the ultimate endgame for any romantic relationship.